Rocking the Boat: How I'll Vote.

Since turning 18 in 1995, i have been a registered Democrat.  After seeing Ralph Nader speak and following his candidacy in 2000, i increasingly began voting Green Party candidates for the highest offices, yet most of my votes were still to Democratic candidates.  This year for the first time, i will be voting more third party candidates than Democratic.  Two of the four Democrats for whom i'm voting, i only do so because there is no Green or socialist candidate in that particular race.  By the March election i will no longer be a registered Democrat.


I know that the majority of my candidates will not be elected to office, but don't you dare tell me i am throwing my vote away.  My votes for third party candidates are my free speech. They are my message to the status quo that i am tired of the system as is.  So many of you, whether you be Democrats or Republicans are fed up with your government and your candidates as well.  Many of you resort to voting for the "lesser of two evils."  You all need to WAKE UP!!!  There are more than just the "two evils!"  Check out your local or national third party platforms and candidates.  If all the people who are fed up with the status quo voted third party we could really start to see some change in politics and how the government is run.  


The system is broken.  Or should i say, it is "fixed?"  Fixed to keep third party candidates out of the electoral spotlight.  Why do rarely see third party candidates in any debates for office? Because the system is set up that way.  If we heard what they had to say, we might actually be inclined to vote for them--gosh forbid!  Dems and Republicans screen out the embarrassing or troublesome questions from so-called "debates."  Most of the time, these same questions or issues are exactly what the third party candidates want to bring up, although that is not what keeps them from "debates" all the time.  There are also voting thresholds to be reached to be able to participate.  In any case it is well past time to mix things up. 


I live in Venice, Los Angeles, California; here's how i'm voting:


Carlos Alvarez for Governor (Peace and Freedom), 
Gavin Newsom for Lieutenant Governor (Democratic), 
Mary Lou Cabral for Secretary of State (Peace and Freedom), 
Karen Martinez for Controller (Peace and Freedom), 
Charles Crittenden for Treasurer (Green),
Peter Allen for Attorney General (Green),
Dina Josephine Padilla for Insurance Commissioner (Peace and Freedom),
Marsha Feinland for US Senator (Peace and Freedom),
Jane Harman for US Representative, 36th District (Democratic)*,
Jenny Oropeza for State Senator, 28th District (Democratic)*,
Betsy Butler for Member of the State Assembly 52rd District (Democratic)


*only voting Democratic because there is no Green or Peace and Freedom (socialist) candidate.


NO for Ming W. Chin for Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of California
YES for Carlos R. Moreno for Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of California
YES for Judith M. Ashmann for Associate Justice, Court of Appeal, Second Appellate District, Division Five
YES for Orville "Jack" Armstrong for Associate Justice, Court of Appeal, Second Appellate District, Division Six
YES for Steven Z. Perren for Associate Justice, Court of Appeal, Second Appellate District, Division Five
 
Prop 19 - Yes
Prop 20 - Yes 
Prop 21 - No
Prop 22 - No
Prop 23 - No 
Prop 24 - Yes
Prop 25 - Yes 
Prop 26 - No
Prop 27 - No


Here is a link to Republican , Democratic, Green and Peace and Freedom Party Voting Guides on the California propositions: http://www.schnap.it/doufew

Come To Find

As i look into your lost eyes
I have to tell you
Need you to hear all of my cries
What have we come to


Stop causing all this agony
You're not the person
That i had really hoped you'd be
Thoughts of you worsen


     Yet you continually say
     He's beyond measure
     And so you really feel this way
     That he's a treasure


I know deep down you realize
Don't know why you try
To still believe all of the lies
And logic defy


And all of the signs you can see
Writing's on the wall
Why will you not just let him be
Or further you'll fall


     Know you fell really hard for him
     Don't want to let go
     But i don't think you're gonna win
     I know it hurts so


Your behavior reprehensive
Start making some sense
And your heart is too sensitive
Too great an expense


But all of this time

I have been calling you an ass

Now i come to find

Been staring at a looking glass

Ryan J. Nelson ©2010




I wielded something mightier than a sword and ended up cutting myself.  Yeah, i use pen and paper before i type it out.  I'm old-school like that!  


x

Stellar Education

Burning entities
Connecting paths
Glimmering with hope
And shone so bright
Sweet binary dreams
Parting time and space


Torn apart by
The gravity of reality
Stellar trajectory set
Make no wish on me
From great heights
Soon to crash and burn


In some far off time
In our separate places
We need only look back
And still see the burn
Then move forward to say
Verily, i've seen the light.


Ryan J. Nelson ©2010


For JRQ


x

Unwanted Freedom

Well that's it.
I've been let go.


The one freedom i didn't want.
IT HURTS SO FUCKING MUCH,
but for now,
i know
it is the best decision for both of us.


I told myself this one was so great,
that i would not sabotage it.
That i would fight for it.
That
I
WOULD
NOT
be
the one
to end it,
because anyone who let him go
is truly a fool.


Well guess what--
i won that battle:
He ended it,
not me.


So this is it.


I told him he'd always have a place in my heart
and that if i were lucky,
he'd come back to claim it some day.


For now
i will try to not drown in the wetness currently accumulating at my feet
with the hopes that maybe,
if i'm lucky,
"some day" might come.


x

The Heart Gives In

When i think of you
Jaded memories of days past
All just fade away
And the mind fills true
With thoughts of us at last
And the future someday


You fill me with such emotion
My eyes now know their brim
My mind in commotion
Yet the heart gives in


When i think of you
You make my heart delight
Feelings once such an endeavor
And the mouth will do
Just what is right
Now i could smile forever


You fill me with such emotion
My eyes now know their brim
My mind in commotion
But the heart gives in


When i think of you
And your feelings so sweet
I've overwhelming desire
The eyes long to view
Envelop you head to feet
A grip that'll never tire


You fill me with such emotion
My eyes reach their brim
My mind seeks devotion
So the heart gives in


Ryan J. Nelson ©2004


Recently unearthed from an old journal of mine. Written about an ex.  While i gave him most of the things i'd written about him, i don't remember ever giving this one to him for whatever reason.  Perhaps cuz we'd gotten into a fight then i forgot about it--typical.  Go on, shake your head.  I am.


-ry


x

Just Say It !

My feelings building
I try to hide
Fear of the unknown
Of what's inside

Just say it!

Just say it, 'cause i feel it the same

Just say it, these feeling won't wane

Your words mounting

You start, then stop

Fear of rejection

That you i'll drop?

Just say it!

Just say it, 'cause i want it too

Just say it, deep down these feelings i knew

Out it comes

What i want to hear

Fear of reciprocation

Is nowhere near

You said it!

You said it, three words: i love you

You said it, now what do we do?

A territory so new

Together to define

Know not what to do

But together we'll be fine

Ryan J. Nelson ©2002, 2010

Recently unearthed from an old journal.  This was written about the first time someone ever told me those three words. =) 


-ry


x

11 Pages

I've been thinking of you
I've longed for your touch
Now to start something new
More than ever, i need you so much


How did we get here
Sharing statements of love
Harboring feelings of fear
What is it you're afraid of


11 pages, my my feelings confess
11 pages, my heart's a mess
11 pages, please get back to me


I'll call, i'll write
Looking forward to our talk
No response in sight
Is it at our love you balk


All the things that i propose
So much running through my head
In a letter i compose
Perpetual silence, what i dread


11 pages, my feelings confess
11 pages, my heart's a mess
11 pages, please come back to me


Ryan J. Nelson ©2003


Recently unearthed in an old journal of mine.  Wrote this about my first true love. Long story, but it's about a letter i sent to him. The same letter as is the subject in In-between Days.


-ry


x

In-between Days

Arrive at Wilcox Station,
Letter in hand.
Straight to the counter,
there is no queue.
Clerk 14 greets, "How are you?"

Well it's between holidays

and i'm feeling sad.

Yesterday was Mardi Gras.

If only he'd stayed.

Now what of the plans we made?

Posting a letter i couldn't
deliver myself.
From the post office i
send you my love.
Into the envelope, fits like a glove.

It's between holidays

and i'm feeling sad.

Tomorrow is Valentine's

Now i've heartache,

for what of plans we'd make?

Eighty cents to send my love.
"Here's your receipt."
Receipt for an eighty-cent stamp;
A receipt for my love, but really it's
Worth so much more than i can think of.

So i'm in-between days

and i'm feeling bad.

O today uncertainty,

letter sent, turn and go.

Off to take my seat in limbo.

Ryan J. Nelson ©2002


Recently unearthed from an old journal i found.  Written about my first true love.    


-ry


x

Bon Appetite!

Breakfast at Blueberry, despite the weight we carry.
Barely able to fit at the table.
In-N-Out luncheon, continue our munchin'--
Burger and fries to widen our thighs.
A C&O dinner--never any thiner.
Telling a story; Singing "That's Amore."
One more bite--what an appetite!
A couple of fruits, can't see our boots!
Then you're countenance read of abstinence:
Turned to me and said, "Tonight, no fun in bed,
Don't try in vain--too stuffed to be stuffed again."
Standing up, looking down. Eyes won't go 'round.
The day i dread: can't see my head!
Hunger pains and sanity drains.
Vegas buffets; Full dinner trays.
Purging for more.  Culinary whore.
Growing obese, still we feast.
Will it only stop, when into our graves we plop?


Ryan J. Nelson ©2004


Recently unearthed from an old journal of mine. This was totally written to amuse an ex about our love of going out to eat.  It actually makes us sound like fat pigs, but we weren't really.  Well, at least that's the story i'm going with now, haha!  I showed this to him once and we had a good laugh.


-ry


x

Rendition for a holiday.

Deck the halls
Trim the the tree
'Long as we're together
You and me


Bring a smile to your face
A picture i shan't erase
You really fill my heart with joy
More than any card or any toy


This holiday rendition
Filled with love so sweet
A new Christmas tradition
To sweep me off my feet.


Carols to sing
Gifts to buy
All best done
When you are nigh


Now loneliness to part
For i've found my sweetheart
You're all i need for Christmas
You, a hug and a kiss


This holiday rendition
Filled with love so sweet
A new Christmas tradition
To sweep me off my feet


Writing cards
Wrapping gifts
Time spent with you
My Christmas wish


Who would've guessed
With you to be blessed
Ne'er before a love such as this
You're what i want this Christmas


This holiday rendition
Long may it repeat
This Christmas tradition
A real holiday treat


Ryan J. Nelson ©2004


Recently unearthed from an old journal. Written for an ex. Don't think i ever gave it to him. Whatevs. HELLA cheesy though!  I was so young then.  Younger than my chronological age, that is.  Love found me late in life.


-ry


x

Beautiful Stranger

Beautiful stranger
Under your fedora
Alternative youthful hipster
Baggage in tow, headed for parts unknown
Out with your notebook--and you just got hotter
Wandering feet, wandering mind
O, to peak at your paper soul!


You're a vision, just begging to be hugged
Let's trade hearts and be fast friends
Fellow traveler on parallel paths
Wishing you'd bend your line into mine
But now you're off without me
And you'll always be
A beautiful stranger


Ryan J. Nelson ©2010

Environmentalism

Monday is trash day. Here is this week's recycling. See, i'm not an alcoholic, i'm an environmentalist.

Master and servant

I feel my heart is becoming callous. Again. Ugh.


Master and servant: my heart has my brain in submission. My brain is restrained, but not blindfolded. I can see everything, but do nothing logical to help myself.  Then again, i know love is not subject to logic.


Is there anything in the universe that can make one feel the most exquisite bliss, or alternatively, the most heart-wrenching pain?  It is, in fact, the longest sliding scale, and i've scaled the whole of it and back.  I guess we all do from time to time, but when one is at the low end, it brings little comfort that one is not alone.  For when one has such a great sense of loneliness induced by the affairs of the heart, one may be surrounded by friends and still feel alone--withdrawn into a myriad of thoughts trying--desperately, to explain the absurdity of one's own and the other's actions and one's own being.


I said to a friend that i may be a fool for love, but i'm not stupid.  Now i am questioning the veracity of that statement.  


I feel like i'm on the edge of a precipice; One eye seeing my seemingly impending fall into oblivion--the other, looking at the thinest of strings holding me back, just strong enough to keep me from plummeting--for now.


I still hold hope, but hope fades with each passing day.


-ry


x

Silence

Silence has pushed my heart into a dark corner—enveloping, constricting.
Silence thinks it can quietly strangle my heart. Strangle, it does,
But all is not quiet, as the mind detects the heart's cry.
Idle hands become busy, delivering its message:


The whole of me pushed into limbo—a state of wretched impatience.
Awaiting word of his simple acknowledgment of my being.
The least I yearn for, despite our previous fury of communication.
Yet, very much missing the metric of our former interaction.


Whirlwinds of romance quickly dissipated to occasional breezes,
As a speeding car may briefly move leaves on a rooted plant.
Distance achieved with every silent minute.
And for each of such short breaks therein, his emotion lessened.


With every mobile sound and every cyber alert,
a fleeting measure of hope
Alas, DASHED!
As if the rest of the world means to mock.


And so I am: a roller coaster of emotional distress.
My stomach up front watching the fall—sinking
My heart at back catching the whiplash, contorted from stress.
What was once so high, is fast crashing low.


Silence: slowing, wearing down the being of my soul.
Silence: wanting, waiting with nowhere to go.




Ryan J. Nelson ©2010

Weird feeling.

You know those mornings, where you wake up and have a weird feeling about the day ahead and you say to yourself, "damn, i need a drink!" Yeah. What's that you say? You don't? Oh, I'M the only alcoholic around here. Meh.

HAPPY AMERICAN IMPERIALIST HOLIDAY.

And now a few words from Morrissey: "America your head's too big, because America, your belly's too big and I love you, I just wish you'd stay where you is....In America, it brought you the hamburger. Well America, you know where you can shove your hamburger!"

How American imperialist bastards talk dirty.

I want to "invade" you. I want to "shoot my missle
off" within your "borders."


Baby, I want to "bring up the rear" & set off my "dirty bomb" inside your "no man's land."


Premature...?!? No, no, baby..."PREEMPTIVE strike" Trust me, I got plenty more "missiles" to fire off!


-ry

Summer is MY time of year, cuz I am one great big motherfvcking ball of sunshine!

That is all.

This just in: The new international symbol for surrender is no longer a white flag, it is now the French flag. Be advised. That is all.

After posting this on twitter about France's horrible performance at the World Cup (both on and off the pitch), i was sent this link.

Memorial Day

(USA) Today is MEMORIAL DAY, where Americans pause to remember our fallen soldiers, including those NEEDLESSLY SENT TO THEIR DEATHS by Bush and Obama. As we remember our fallen let us also not forget all the civilians, including children that our soldiers have MURDERED. This is also a good time to recognize that your American tax dollars are funding another army (Israel) who oppresses and murders PALESTINIANS.


Today, in fact, ISRAEL MASSACRED 9 UNARMED people on a Freedom Flotilla ship which was delivering HUMANITARIAN AID to the besieged people of GAZA.


Protest today against Israel's actions at the Israeli Consulate, 6380 Wilshire Blvd, Los Angeles 90048 at 4:30pm.