SHITTY-SHITTY, BANG-BANG

I have been moderately consistent with blogging this year (i know, i know, and i've never really been one to write anything in the past unless i was forced to by professors or employers or occasionally the trials and tribulations of love), but august is almost out and i've not written anything.  I just voted in one of those polls on Facebook and thought i'd take the opportunity to sneak in a blog about it before the end of the month.

So i voted "Yes" in the would you support a ban on handguns poll.  Actually i said, 

ALL firearms should be banned from the general public and only allowed for law enforcement agencies, nat'l guard & military. We live in a stable republic not some banana republic, or country divided by clans or tribes. There is little chance that Queen Elizabeth will force us to give her quarter or that Colonel Mustard will stage a coup d'etat with a candlestick, draggin Obama out of the White House in his PJs. No tribal leader or Imam is gonna raise an army to run roughshod over your town or state, raping your cows and stealing your women. The Second Amendment is totally out-dated.

One last thing i would like to do with our guns is to hunt down all the NRA members and put them out of our misery.  They may not hold a gun to our congressperson's head to get their votes, but they do use something nearly as evil to get their votes:money-- so they can point their guns at other living things. 

Actually, i think if we do this piece-meal, we should start with automatic/semi-automatic/assault weapons. Honestly, why do you need the right to have these things?  To hunt??!  I think it would be more of a sport if you didn't have a weapon that sprayed bullets like a fire hose.  Those things aren't meant for killing animals, they're meant for killing people en mass.  

Maybe we don't take guns away from people, we just make their sale to civilians illegal, IDK.  Something needs to be done.  People certainly don't need a machine gun to protect their home or hunt deer, that's for damn sure.

Would violence go down in a country without guns?  No, i don't expect it would.  People are still gonna get angry or be psycho.  They'll find other ways of killing people.  That is because we are human.  That is what we do.  We love to kill and hurt other humans.  Humans are no gosh damn good and i relish the day that they are wiped clean from the face of the Earth.  I digress.  Maybe without guns the violent crime rate might not decrease, but hopefully the homicide rate would.  With guns it is so easy to end a life, without, one would more than likely have to work harder, get closer, be stronger to take a life.  Plus, you've less of a chance of an innocent bystander being felled by a stray bullet, like the 13 year old who was not affiliated with a gang, was minding his business ordering pizza with a friend.  The sidewalk of Highland Park is stained were he bled to death in the arms of his friend.

What we need is not a debate on whether or not guns should be legal, but rather a debate on how to eliminate them from the public at large.  Just my opinion.  Apparently i am in the minority: of the over 55 000 Facebook members that have taken the poll, 89% say no to gun control.  Shocking. I think people want to not be gunless against an armed criminal i guess.  I know you've your opinion, so let's hear it.

HOW YOU GONNA DO ME LIKE THAT, I THOUGHT WE WAS FRIENDS?!!

OK, so i am being threatened on many different fronts.  It started in college with those e-mails.  Then on myspace, through bulletins.  Over the last couple years i received them through texts on my mobile.  Now, finally, it has caught up to me on facebook.  I hear it happens on YouTube as well.

I speak, of course, of chain-mail.  No, not what knights wore in the days of yore.  Rather, i speak the sometimes deceptive, usually threatening, and always annoying chain-letters.  Yes, like a virus, they have mutated on pandemic proportions into many different forms of chain- . . . whatever: chain-bulletins, chain-texts, chain-apps, chain-videos.

I understand that this shit even existed in the hey-days of snail mail.  People actually wasted money on paper, envelopes and stamps not to mention their precious time trying to write or use a typewriter (remember those?) to copy the same shit 10 or 20 times so that they could forward it to their unsuspecting friends and acquaintances.

They start off innocently enough sometimes, don’t they?  A touching story, a funny anecdote, a thoughtful wish or blessing.  Sometimes it is just straight religious propaganda.  Sometimes you know what’s coming and scroll right down to the bottom to find it: first, the fortune .

Send/forward this message to 30 of your closest friends and you :

~        Will come into financial well-being

~        Will find your true love at midnight tonight

~        Will be blessed by God and live an eternal after-life of peace

~        Et cetera

I’m sorry, do you really think that i believe this shit?!  So what is gonna happen, is a pumpkin coach gonna pull up, some frog gonna jump out and onto someone’s lap and magically turn into a fairy princess or prince charming when they kiss it?!!  Am i gonna win the lotto—i don’t even play the lotto!  Oh no, wait i’m gonna get rich cuz a long lost relative is gonna croak and leave me a million or two—well that’s nice: someone dies.  Idiots!!!  BTW, who has 30 close friends?!?!?

Oh, but wait…if you don’t send/forward this, it’s a threat you get: 

~        You will have seven years bad luck

~        You’ll never find true love

~        Die early

~        Et cetera

Are you fucking kidding me?!!  You’re threatening me!?!  Well, FUCK YOU!!!  How dare you, you god-damn, mother-fucking, cock-sucking, ass-licking, bitch-troll from hell, piece of shit!!!!!!!!!! Wait…! —Uncle Bob?!?!?!?! You sent this?!?!?!?!?  

The hell of it is i don’t ever recall receiving this shit in my bulk/junk folder as spam or otherwise from random people i don’t know.  No, sir.  The hell of it is, this bullshit is coming from friends and acquaintances, even family—WTF? 

I got a chain-text from my [unnamed relative] on Easter.  It was like, “Oh what did you get me for the holiday? Chain mail, oh great!  Now I’ll be protected from rogue knights with broadswords and angry great white sharks—oh, wait…wrong kind of chain mail.  You shouldn’t have.  No, really you shouldn’t have!”

My [other unnamed relative] sent me a chain-forward.  It was quite disgusting in that it was self-referential: the point of the story was that God would bless all those who read the forward, but you had to forward it to seven people.  It ended with, “93% of people won’t forward this.”  Gee, ya know why?  Cuz 93% of people are not dumb-ass superstitious suckers (at least w/ respect to chain-mail, remember nearly 50% of people elected Bush—twice!)

I don't care to receive chain-mail from you.  I consider them THREATS--and i don't take too kindly to threats.  A friend wouldn't wish me years of bad luck for neglecting to forward some fucking e-message anyway; s/he'd just wish me good luck and always hope the best for me.....

If the forwarded message is something you really think i need to see, then at least delete the do or die part at the bottom.

Bottom line, as far as chain mail: don’t dare send this shit my way or I’ll run you through with my sword—right through your chain-mail!  Oops, i just threatened you.  My bad!

But seriously, i think this is a very important topic.  We need to spread the word.  If you read and agree with my message, you should cut and paste this and send it off to 30 of your closest friends.  If you don’t, you’ll continue to be cursed with  . . . wait for it . . . chain-mail!  Ironic, no?  Damn, i did it again!  Apologies for the threats.

Rest In Peace, Michael Joseph Jackson 1958-2009

I was fortunate enough to have been in attendance for Michael Jackson's memorial service today.  The service was held at Staples Center in downtown Los Angeles.  Over 1 million people registered for tickets to the memorial.  Only 8 750 were selected in a lottery to receive 2 tickets.  My friends Robert and Ray were among the lucky few.  Thanks to Robert for inviting me.

We left early, expecting a ton of traffic and people afoot, knowing that several streets would be closed to traffic this day.  There were so many police around.  I think the entire payroll of the LAPD was on duty this day.  I saw just about every means of police transport aside from the mobile SWAT station and the battering ram.  There were police on foot, in black and whites (reg. squad cars), in unmarked cars, on horseback, on bicycles, on segways and even golf carts.

Everything was calm and orderly.  There were a handful of pricks holding signs reading, "GOD HATES FAGS," "JACKO IN HELL," "GOD HATES YOU" --just some wicked stuff.  But worry not, these are the true sinners who twist the word of the Lord and Jesus who will be going to hell.  Just some of the scum of the Earth that Michael had to endure whilst alive. Gosh bless their right to free speech, though.

We got to our seats on the premier level, right in front of the luxury suites.  Decent view.  The service began with Smokey Robinson reading condolences from Dianna Ross and Nelson Mandela.  There was then a long break.  As Michael's family and other celebrities, like Kobe Bryant, entered the arena the crowd clapped and cheered.  Then they brought in Michael's coffin.  Standing-O.  There were a pair of young ladies in front of us that were totally distraught over Michael's passing.  One knew they were the kind that would cry and scream and faint at a concert.  Here they could barely hold it together.  Such was the power of Michael.  I'm sure many like them were stationed throughout the arena, nearly hysterical over the tremendous grief and sense of loss we all felt on some level.

It really was a beautiful service.  I'm sure i need not describe it as i'll bet most of the world was watching.  I especially liked the performance by Stevie Wonder--another legend in the industry who also got his start as a child.  My favorite speech/eulogy was delivered by the Reverend Al Sharpton.  All the eulogies and performances were moving, though.  From the lightheartedness of Magic Johnson's rememberances to the struggle of Brooke Shields'.  I don't think anyone left the arena who hadn't shed a tear or at least welled up a bit.  If the rest of the service didn't get to you, then surely the end did, when one of Michael's children spoke.  Truley heartbreaking, truely.

It was a very emotional ceremony.  Before we left this morning, my friend asked if i was gonna cry as he stuffed tissue into his pocket.  I scoffed and said, "no."  I did not expect the service to be so moving to me.  I shed a tear more than once.  I don't think that if i had watched it on TV that i'd've had the same emotional reactions.  There is something about being in that space with all that emotion.  To be there to hear the cries and wails in the arena between speakers and performers, which one could not hear on the telecast.  People shouting out to Michael, as he lay inside his golden casket--truely befitting of a king.  Shouting out, "Michael, i love you!"  "Michael, you are my hero!" "Long live the king of pop!" and such and hearing the applauding approval from the rest of the crowd after each shout.  To hear the emotion in their wails. To see people fall to their knees crying out for their hero.  To feel the emotion vibrate though your skin to your bone--through your heart and soul--from the voices of the performers and eulogizers like Usher and Marlon.  It is just something which cannot be transmitted though airwaves and LCD screens.  It truely was an experience i shall never forget.

Michael, may you finally rest forever in peace.  You touched the world and we shall never forget.

DON'T...

I don’t want you to love me.  I can’t handle it.  I don’t want any of you to love me.  I cannot love.  It’s not my time to.  I have lost the will to.  All I want is friendship.  There is no way for me to reciprocate certain feelings.  If you think you might love me, I cannot love you back, so what kind of relationship is that?  I don’t need the fucking drama.  I really don’t.  I don’t even know how to manifest feelings properly.  Lately, I just sit and cry.

Once upon a time, I could be a sweet guy:  i am in no hurry to even start dating again. I don't even see it on the horizon, though i do know i don't want to grow old alone. Even though I cannot do it now, I really hope that at one point I will be able to find the courage to stop my life once I get too old and alone.

It is very hard for me to muster up feelings that used to come so easily for me. I used to be a really sweet guy. You know, romantic talk, sweet texts, poetry, little random presents, simple things to make another smile, even sympathy or empathy. The thought of these things sometimes turns my stomach and brings a bad taste in my mouth. I've even to relearn how to act in public. I feel i've emerged jaded and cynical and shallow and un-caring. This too, makes me sad.

SOMETIMES

Tears come easily to me these days, but I know not why.  There is a river at my feet, where there was not one before, not for years anyway.  I’ve spent so much time with friends lately, but somehow I feel so alone.  My feelings are heightened.  When I am mad, I punch things; my right hand is swollen.  When I am sad, I cry, sometimes uncontrollably.  Sometimes on the street, in front of people.  Sometimes by myself, in my palms.  Sometimes, I think of feelings and my heart sinks.  Sometimes I think of feeling and my heart  tears.  Sometimes I just don’t care anymore.   Sometimes, I just want to say good bye and wish everyone well.

OYG (Oh Your God)

I recently read an article about how the USA is moving closer towards non-participation in religion.  This is significant because, EVERY other industrialized nation is far ahead of this move.  

Finally, the US is catching up with the rest of the industrial world.  Religion is not necessary for a fulfilling life of morality or happiness. Why do people need others to tell them what to do; to tell them what is right and wrong? Should we risk spreading HIV or bringing unwanted & unneeded babies into this world just cuz the Pope says don't use condoms? Should we believe preachers who call homosexuality an abomination on Sunday and have a tryst with a gay lover on Monday? The world would be better off without religion. Members of each and every religious sect would say that religion unites, but it only unites like-minded people. Overall, religions separate and discriminate against the human race.  Like the rift between North American and African Anglicans.  Or the belief in succession after Mohammed's death (Sunni v. Shiite), itself a basis for rising hostilities which has led to war.   In truth, religion is not run by any god, but by man. Fallible man.  Put a man in power of something and watch the morals melt away and the greed and power mongering pour in: A Cardinal who plays a shell game with his pedophile priests.  A preacher who lives the high life in a big mansion whilst preaching the virtues of a life of modesty.  A King who wishes to break the covenant of marriage and breaks away from the church to form his own, so he can divorce.  A preacher who, though married, seeks the professional, carnal company of another, paying her out of the collection plate.  A succession of Popes who reappoint a Grand Inquisitor to torture non-Christians into the faith despite brotherly love and forgiveness being two of the most basic tenets of their religion. 

 

Now don’t judge me just yet….  I believe that that religion gives people hope, it does provide people with morals.  Not all of what the bible says is bad; yet, the simple realization of this fact—the fact that the Bible is nowadays only partially valid—is enough for me to say, you know what?  I know what is right and what is wrong; what is moral and what is not.  I don’t need some man in a robe to tell me what, or what else.  Religion IS NOT INNATE.  It is the product of human free-will and conscienceness.

Now, granted morality is totally societal-based, not innate.  Innate thoughts are what lead us to kill or be killed.  Innateness, let’s us be savages; the human consciousness is what divides us from the rest of the animal kingdom.  Human consciousness, led us to great inventions like the wheel, the spear, agriculture, imagination (fun), government, laws and morals.  Unfortunately, it also brought us, greed, envy, hatred, government and imagination (religion).  Has humanity grown too big for its own good?  For the Earth’s own good?  For the animal kingdom’s own good? 

 

Again, I do not think I am better than you.  If you truly know me, you will know that this is true.  I think I am a piece of shit.  I think I am no good to anyone (unless they want to use me, which is not uncommon).  I think I should die right here, right now.  (I cannot come to kill myself, cuz I’m too much of a coward, but if you wanna do it, please go right the fuck ahead, I don’t give a fucking shit).  Now, that said.  I am NOT holier than thou.  While I am still breathing, I think I’ll be human and voice my opinion.  If you don’t like it, so be it.  You are human and I respect you.  If you would deny me my opinion, so be it you are human and what else would I expect from you?  Humans are no gosh damn good.  All of them.  All humans must die.

 

Again, I digress.  Like I said, religions give hope to the world, and goodness knows most people need hope; need hope to be happy; to be complacent; to remain sane; to stay alive.  Some people need direction and don’t have it within themselves or their immediate community to give it to them.  In such cases, religion is a, well, blessing to them.  The weak.  Yeah, I said it.  It is my opinion.  Never talk to me again, see if I care. 

 

It just shows your fucking ignorance and arrogance, if you are soooo weak as to believe EVERYTHING SOMEONE ELSE tells you; to fall hook, line and sinker.  See…, just like a fucking human!  Just don’t equate human with humane!  All of you pious fucks who are totally devout, but only to your own brand of Christianity or Muslim or Judaism, fuck you!  You are no better than any participant in the Irish Catholic- British Protestant conflicts, the Sunni-Shiite conflicts, the Holocaust, the Palestinian-Isreali conflicts, the Talibani-Afghani conficts, the Inquisition….  You are no better than people in the 1800’s who opposed Irish-American & “white” Americans from being married.  You are no better than people in the in the 1900s who opposed blacks and whites from being married.  You are no better than people in the 2000s who oppose a man & a man or a woman & a woman from being married. 

 

Yet again, I am off on tangents.  My thing is, it’s okay to have religion, to believe and have faith in that which you cannot see, in that which has no logical proof--but don’t follow blindly, don’t be total sheep (sorry Catholics, the lambs of God).  Use religion as a guide, as advice; but don’t trust it blindly.  Think for yourselves.  Use religion as a stepping stone to true human consciousness, not as a substitute for it.  I do not look down on people with religion.  To believe in whatever you like is a human TRAIT, and therefore an indeniable human right, such as freedom of speech, thought, creed and the right to life, liberty and happiness. 

 

It would be nice if we could all have the same religion, wouldn’t it?  But that would never last and you know it.  Not if God gives humans free-will.  Someone, somewhere will come up with another sect, branch.  Humans will become corrupt and there will be another Martin Luther posting shit on a door. 

It would be nice if we could all not believe in religion, but just the same set of laws and morals, idk, let’s call it government.  Not if God gives us free-will.  Someone, somewhere will get greedy and power hungry and oppress those for his or her own gain.

To be fallible is human.  God’s great experiment is through.  Game over.  All humans must die.

 

I do not discriminate against anyone in particular.  I am an equal-opportunity discriminator.  Everyone dies.  End of story.  Fuck humans!

 

Now…, go ahead and begin hating me silently or tearing me apart openly, cuz you know what, I don’t give a flying fuck!

DOA, OOPS, I MEAN DOB

[Someone on FB recently requested my birthdate for their calendar. I started writing this, but did not send it. I cut it and pasted it here for my future amusement. I sent a much shorter and less morbid two-line message to him.]

Thank you for your recent request to record my date of birth. Apparently, i've not told you i am not normal. My DOB is nothing to be remembered nor celebrated. I do not. I'd much rather forget it. Yet, somehow, someone always brings it up. I hate it. I am always depressed and very nasty around that time (if i remember it). It brings me sorrow. Sorrow that i was even born (i know a few who will agree with me on that!) I hate humans. On the other hand, as long as i am too cowardly to take my own life, i will extend kindness and friendship to, well, my friends (and some of my family). I'll try to make the best of life, even though i hope it ends very soon. I can wear a smile but it is but a mask. A mask hiding the deep hatred for life and the human race. I am also very found of whisky and vodka. So that helps too.

Oh, don't get me wrong, i can have fun. I enjoy many things in life: your birthday, good friends, good whisky, good music, some of my family, a winning Dodger game, the sweet actions of an as yet innocent child, birds, bees, "the birds and the bees" (wink-wink), the tree leaves blowing in an autumn breeze, the waves of blue crashing on sand of white et cetera. It is humans who ruin everything. I should've been born an eagle or maybe a redwood.  

Ha! both currently being killed by humans...well, whadya know bout that?!!

Fuck everything and everyone!