Master and servant

I feel my heart is becoming callous. Again. Ugh.


Master and servant: my heart has my brain in submission. My brain is restrained, but not blindfolded. I can see everything, but do nothing logical to help myself.  Then again, i know love is not subject to logic.


Is there anything in the universe that can make one feel the most exquisite bliss, or alternatively, the most heart-wrenching pain?  It is, in fact, the longest sliding scale, and i've scaled the whole of it and back.  I guess we all do from time to time, but when one is at the low end, it brings little comfort that one is not alone.  For when one has such a great sense of loneliness induced by the affairs of the heart, one may be surrounded by friends and still feel alone--withdrawn into a myriad of thoughts trying--desperately, to explain the absurdity of one's own and the other's actions and one's own being.


I said to a friend that i may be a fool for love, but i'm not stupid.  Now i am questioning the veracity of that statement.  


I feel like i'm on the edge of a precipice; One eye seeing my seemingly impending fall into oblivion--the other, looking at the thinest of strings holding me back, just strong enough to keep me from plummeting--for now.


I still hold hope, but hope fades with each passing day.


-ry


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