UnFortunate Cookie

So i found this fortune cookie under my friend's car seat whilst looking for the fallen cap to my bottled water. I was reading the ingredients--why? idk, i was drunk? i was bored? i'm a health-nut? No, no, that's definately not it! No, let's go with drunk. What's important here is what was listed in the ingredients, or shall i say, was not listed:
Bleached wheat flour, sugar, water, partially hydrogenated soybean and cottonseed oil, soybean lecithin, sodium bicarbonate, natural orange flavor, FD&C yellow #5 & #6.
Wait, there is something missing here.... Does not this cookie also contain A FORTUNE?!


Fatty that i am, you know i ate it. Not before offering it to the car's owner, of course. I mean, i'm fat, but i'm not rude. So the "fortune," of course is something totally vague/non-specific &/or all-encompassing, like "Live in THIS moment."


1) Live in in THAT moment?!! Are you serious? I was drunk, so i should just stay drunk all the time?! Not wise advice to a practicing alcoholic, Mr Cookie, i must say!


Which brings me to: 2) This is not a fortune, in fact, this is not even advice! Advice would be in the subjunctive, would it not? As in "You should live...." (Davida, correct me if i am wrong) Dare i say, this is a command?!! I don't know about y'all, but i am not in the habit of listening to my food. My, stomach, yes; food no. I mean, i quite enjoy a big, heapin' bowl of puffy, gay-rainbow colored goodness that we know and love as Trix--i don't care if it is just for kids. I'm with that silly rabbit, i won't listen. (BTW, a rabbit, turning trix, how appropriate and hillarious! Sometimes at night i turn trix----->into dinner.)


Lastly, sodium bicarbonate..., bicarbonate..., carbonate.... Is that what Hans Solo was encased in in the Empire Strikes Back? Was he, in fact, encased in some kind of giant, super-cosmic, extraterrestrial, furturistic fortune cookie? Heehee! If so, what was Jabba the Hut's fortune, "death becomes you?" Hahaha!


Post-lastley: Java the Hut--what i great name for a coffee shop. No, wait, i'm sure some one's already thought of this, maybe a funny Youtube vid: Tony get your best people on this! haha!


DISCLAIMER: NO i am NOT high.
or drunk.